


"I think I'm in love"

by HerosDontExist



Series: Series of Sherlolly events. [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: F/M, First Dates, First Kiss, Love, Love Confessions, Molly Hooper Appreciation, Molly has a little outburst, Mycroft Being Mycroft, Nervous Molly, Nice Sherlock, POV Molly Hooper, Protective Mycroft, Sherlock Holmes is Bad at Feelings, Sherlock buys flowers, Sherlock confusing things, Sherlock is a Brat, Sherlolly - Freeform, Stalking, anxious molly, emotional molly, minor heartbreak, molly is so kind, the brothers dont get on
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-03
Updated: 2014-09-16
Packaged: 2018-02-11 12:46:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2068779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HerosDontExist/pseuds/HerosDontExist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Molly has had held in that feeling. She's held onto to it for too long!<br/>This is it now. No more skulking around. She's really going to tell him. </p><p>Will he respond, will be ignore her?</p><p>Goodness only knows. </p><p>Positive outcomes only! ... we hope.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Just ask.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I never really write fanfics but this seems to have written itself very late one night. 
> 
> I sounded cute and suspicious in my mind and with any luck, that's how it will come across. 
> 
> Anyway, if you are reading this then I love you very much! Thank you! =D 
> 
> Much Love, Amy xx

It's crazy isn't it? I don't fully understand it myself. And I'm almost certain he doesn't have a clue. Although I'd bet he could probably describe the exact chemical and physiological process associated with a very average persons very average crush. Except, it's not an average crush is it? When I think about him I think of his eyes and the way they sparkle with delight when he is at the very heart of a gripping case, or I think about his milky skin and the way the light so effortlessly falls on those miraculous cheekbones, but then I think for just a little longer and his obvious sociopathic traits become so apparent.

Him and John have this very obvious bond. I'm not entirely sure I know how to describe it. It is like they have a complete but nonverbal understanding of each other's souls. I don't know, that sounds ridiculous. John loves him, that much is rather apparent and I'm sure if someone pushed the man far enough I think Sherlock would eventually declare his love for John too. It's just, he has an awful way of showing (I'd say some of the time but...) most of the time. I get that though. I used to think of myself as a little sociopathic but that was probably stupid, but I understand what it's like to be so wrapped up in something where the rest of the world just seems like a blur. Heavens knows how many hours I've locked myself in the lab before. There is something a bit tranquil about it. Maybe it's the same kind of feeling he gets. But then, maybe not.

I wonder what would happen if I were to declare my love for him the next time he come strolling into the lab? Or maybe I could turn up at baker street unannounced, sit down and tell him I've been in love with him from the very first day, and I want a proper and real relationship with him. What's the worst that could possibly happen, right? He charming gosh, he's so charming. He's known of course that I've had feelings toward him for some time now, I'm not that blind. I see how he uses that small fact to his advantage when be needs something. I can dream though can't I?

So this is where I find myself now. 4pm on a Saturday afternoon in the very height of summer walking down Marylebone Road having little panic attack. Right, pull yourself together. You can do this. Just walk in there, it will be fine. I checked of course that he wasn't busy, I asked Mary, not John. I don't know why but I had this horrible vision of him finding out what I want to say to Sherlock and then he would tell me that I'm ridiculous (that part is right) because sherlock is gay or because he and John are actually together. I know him and Mary are very happily married with one very gorgeous baby girl but that didn't stop my mind creating all these visions.

This is it. I stand at the buzzer for 221B Baker Street. Okay, okay, okay. Just don't do anything outrageous and we'll be fine. Well, I haven't done anything outrageous since 3rd year Uni so we should, fingers crossed, be okay.

Mrs Hudson answers the door of course. Made me wonder if Sherlock has ever answered the door. Not that that is important at all right now.

I make my way upstairs and Sherlock is sitting in his rather comfy chair reading from the IBMS newsletter. I say hello but he doesn't seem to hear me.

"Biomedical newsletter, what has taken your interest this time then, Sherlock?"

Should have known that, say something remotely science and boom, caught his attention.

"Oh, nothing actually. I've been looking through many different journals for an insightful take on Keratoconus. You wouldn't happen to know much about it would you?"

"Emm, well. Not really. I know that it's in the eyes, a growth of the cornea into an cone like structure I think. Fairly certain it's not genetically caused. Nothing much else I'm afraid"

"Hmm, no bother. At least you've hear if it. I thought it would make an intriguing experiment. That's all. I assume you are here for something Molly?"

Right. Gosh. This is it. Just ask him for some dinner. Dinner isn't difficult. Look up into those eyes and say it.

"You"

... damn it. Shake it off

"Sorry, em, yeah. Sherlock. I think I should be really straightforward here so we both stay on the same page. I like you. I think I like you a lot and if you would like, I'd like to go out for dinner with you. As the two of us, like a couple. Like, on a real date"

And breath! Phew I really said it! Gosh though, could I have said _like_ one more time?!

"Yes. I think I would like that."

WHAT JUST HAPPENED?! Did he say yes? Did he really just say yes?

"You are not joking around with me are you? You would like to go... on a date... with me?"

I can feel myself blushing so hard. Wow, this is embarrassing.

"Yes. Like I said. I think I would like that. Are you free now?"

I have no control over my thoughts right now. It's only 4pm and I'm not dressed for a date but who am I to complain? This cannot be happening. He looks genuinely happy. I can't remember seeing him like this. I suppose it's like the euphoric state he's in after solving a case. Oh no, is that what taking me on a date is like. That's not a thought I'd like to go near again. I really hope he doesn't see me as a sort of experiment. No, he wouldn't, would he?

I can't but help think this was far too easy.

I stand as he rushes to grab his long coat and leads the way out of the door into the sunny warmth of London in Summer


	2. Now what?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What am I supposed to say to him now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a very tiny little chapter to set the feeling a little.
> 
> Again, if you are reading this, I love you! Amy xx

Yeah, okay. I'm shocked. I really thought he would have put up a fight, well, not a fight but some sort of intellectual exploration behind the exact meaning and origin of my proposition. But here we are, side by side, walking south of Baker Street. If I don't question his thoughts for the rest of the night then I should be alright. I don't really want to know what will be trailing through his mind.

It's stupid I know, but I don't know what to say to him. I never thought I'd make it this far. Normal people would talk about their life or whatever but how am I supposed to know what isn't going to bore him? The only thing I know he'd talk about is science, oh how romantic. First date, if that's what this is, and I'm about to talk about science.

We come to a very busy junction and as we cross the road, he places his hand on the small of my back to guide me through the masses of people. It's such a simple gesture, but from Sherlock, it felt oddly reassuring. He's most definitely not the 'contact' type. Maybe he actually is happy to be with my right now. As we reach the other side of the road I steal a quick glance up at him, he looks awfully puzzled and if I'm not mistaken he looks a little apprehensive. I can't help but wonder if I'm the reason, or if he's thinking over a case, or thinking up an experiment. I said not to do this. I'm not like him. I can't just look at him and understand what he's thinking. Rule 1, don't try to deduce Sherlock Holmes; you will almost certainly be wrong.

"Are you okay, Sherlock?" I ask over the noise of the traffic.

It takes him a moment to realise that I actually spoke before he turns back to me from his focused gaze.

"Yes. Fine. Can't decide between Italian or Mexican. Which would you prefer?"

"Good, yeah erm, Italian is good with me. I think I'd like that "

"Great, it's the closest"


	3. Ever felt like you're being watched?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick catch up before someone ruines the mood.

We walk into the small but rather busy Italian and get seated no problem. Apparently Sherlock knows every restaurant owner within a 2 mile radius of his flat.

He instantly looks a lot more settled as we set our coats aside and take up the menus. It only seems to take him a matter of moments before he places his menu back onto the table. They have such a wonderful choice and everything looks so nice, I can't possibly know how he was so quick to decide. It's still early for a large meal. Pasta is probably a good bet. I put my menu back down and Sherlock is staring at me. It's a little unnerving.

"You're having pasta."

"Yeah, I am. It looks lovely"

He smiles a bit. Looking proud of himself. Such a simple deduction for him. I wonder why he's so happy about it. I look down and instinctively fidget with the hem of my skirt and smirk to myself wondering where to take the conversation.

"So, Sherlock, how's the case load doing? You haven't been up to the lab for a while. I had to text Lestrade the other day. You know, just to make sure you weren't dead or anything."

"I'm not dead." He shook his head a little and started to play around with his cutlery on the table turning his gaze away from me.

"My pathetic excuse for an older brother has decided that I should lay off any intense or time consuming cases for a while. He thinks that now John is settled, I should do the same. He believes it would do me some good to take up a less 'high-risk hobby'"

Well it certainly explains why he hasn't been around recently. Truth is, I really was quite concerned about him. I know how worked up he can get when he's not got a lot going on. It's good he actually seems to be following his brothers word for a change though.

"Ah I see, and how is that going then? Finding something else to do with your time. Hope you've not blown up your flat with experiments"

"It's not blown up, you saw it earlier remember. I did however have a small fire a week ago. Wasn't my fault. Mycroft showed up and wouldn't leave. By the time I managed to usher him away the fire had already reached my papers. Nothing to worry about now though. Mrs Hudson cleaned it all up. I can't seem to find anything worth my time. Lestrade has been keeping me posted on simple cases now and then, but each one of them were dull and obvious. Mycroft even got a hold of him to ensure he didn't let me on any decent cases. It's not fair. Anyone would think he wanted me stuck in that flat. The only other person I've seen until today is Mrs Hudson. John is always busy with baby related things. I don't understand how something so small could be taking up so much time for two adults. Makes no sense."

"Goodness, yeah. Mrs Hudson does a lot for you, you know. You should surprise her one day and do something nice for her. Make her lunch or bring her home some flowers , she would really love that. Bless her, I hope I'll have someone like you to keep me busy like her when I'm that age. If you're needing to get out of the flat you can always come to me. Not like to me, but to St Barts. Although, if you want lunch or anything too, that'd be nice if it will keep you from causing fires and driving Mrs H mad."

Goodness, I'm mumbling again. He has this effect you see. Whatever I have ready to say in my head suddenly becomes mixed the moment I look at him. He didn't really reply to that. He just sort if hummed in approval and shrugged his shoulders a little. He really does have the mannerisms of a child some times, but I know he means well. Sherlock neatly tidies the menus to the side of the table showing we were ready to order as I receive an unexpected text. I rummage through my bag to find my phone as Sherlock gets a text too. Mine was from Mycroft. How on earth does he know I'm with Sherlock?.

"What are you doing with Sherlock? -MH"

"Em Sherlock, why do I have a text from your brother asking what we're doing?"

"He has cameras in the flat, I suspect he saw us leave. I said he wants me kept in there. If you wish to reply do tell him to piss off."

Wait, does this mean he heard me ask Sherlock on a date? No no no, this is far too embarrassing. Goodness, this is really weird. It's that horrible feeling of being watched from every angle. I attempt at finding a subtle way to text Mycroft back in a reassuring way so he won't.

"We've just gone out for some dinner. He's fine. We've not gone far, he'll be back home soon. -M"

I have no need to text him back really, he's probably got people outside, and in the restaurant, watching us anyway. I cling onto my bag a little and put my phone away suddenly not feeling very comfortable in the small space. Sherlock seems to notice this and reaches for his coat.

"Come on, get your coat. We're going outside. We can get chips from the chippy around the corner and eat them at the park where we are less caged in. I think you'll like it, it's quite a nice day with the sun"

"Yeah thanks, sounds nice" With that. We leave, Sherlock leading the way.


	4. Why now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock is just thinking far too much.

“I see what you mean Sherlock. I know Mycroft is always looking out for you but has he always been this protective? It’s pretty full on. I wouldn’t like it.”

Sherlock just gives me a stern glace as we walk through the heards of people, I know what that face means. It’s become a lot busier now. I’m not really paying attention to where I am going and instead checking over Sherlock. He doesn’t look okay. I can’t imagine what it must be like to have your every move followed.

He doesn’t speak to me for the rest of our walk or at the chip shop or on the way to the park. I don’t know what I should say to him. He looks sad but in a nonchalant way. His emotions are tricky to understand.

I have to hand it to him though; the chips he bought me are really nice, like, they are amazing! I have been ordering my take-outs from the same little shop since the day I moved into my flat years ago, and if I’m honest they are not really that great but it’s cheap and they deliver fast. I just never have the time or energy to cook properly. Sherlock hasn’t eaten very much. We come to sit at a lovely quiet bench out of the way of the main path overlooking a pond. The view was really pretty with the summer sun glaring over the shallow ripples in the water. It’s actually a romantic setting if perhaps the person I was with was speaking to me or if we weren’t sitting with our brown bags of chips.

Sherlock stares at the water for a while and eventually breaks the silence.

“Molly?”

“Yeah, what is it Sherlock?”

“Why did you come to Baker Street today?”

Sherlock never broke is glare towards the water as his question rolled effortlessly. What do I say to that? I can’t just say ‘I Love you’. That’s a bit far.

“ I emm… Sherlock. I thought you would have figured it out by now.”

“Yes, of course I have. I just wanted to hear you say it. I have apparently become better at accepting my own emotions instead of repressing them. I am just having difficulty at accepting your emotions. Molly, we both know that I have seen through you’re little crush with me from the very first day I met you and not once have you ever asked ‘to go out’ with me. Why now? What changed? And Molly, I don’t think I can give you anything that I think you want. Not just from me but from and actual relationship. I’m not alike most people in that sense, it’s likely that I will never have a proper relationship because of the kind of person I am. Molly, you are a very attractive and smart woman, you could go out and find someone in this world that will treat you in the way that a woman of your calibre deserves. I can’t be that person. I’m sorry but I can’t. There is no point in me being here, or us trying to do this because it’s not working and it will never work. I’m going to go now. I’d like to say that I will see you sometime soon but with the way Mycroft is keeping me locked in my own home it is very doubtful I will see you again at St Bart’s. Good luck with everything Molly. Goodbye.

And with that he stood and began to walk towards the path. I was too shocked to say anything. If anything I was really angry with him. This isn’t fair, I’ve tried goodness knows how many times to ask him for coffee or for lunch or for dinner and every single one of those times he misinterpreted what I was saying. That’s not my fault.  

Once I regained my thoughts I ran after him. I was not going to just let him walk away after such a bittersweet monologue thing he had going on. I must have stayed much longer than I thought; it took me a while to catch up with him.

“Hey, Sherlock! What was that? That is not fair. You can’t do something like that! I asked you for a date on the third time I met you, and do you know why I know? Hm…”

He stood deadly still at the gates to the park with the eyes of child looking at his feet and shook his head.

“I know that because the very first time you sauntered into MY lab as if you owned it, I thought to myself ‘what an ignorant ass’ but then Lestrade came in not long after and then you effortlessly deduced the ass off some drunk driver and I was so impressed. It was really attractive, like really attractive. The second time I met you, you were actually quite nice to me. You probably don’t remember it at all. You actually knocked to come in the lab and after that first time I was pleasantly surprised at your manners and you brought me up a lovely sandwich from my favourite deli. I had no idea if that was just luck or if you had figured it out from the last time. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not naïve. I know you only did it so I would help you with that serial murder case with the long haired guy and the old car. I went home that night and thought over our encounter over and over again and then thought ‘Stuff it, I’ll ask the lovable sociopath out from some coffee’ and I did but instead you had me go make you a coffee instead and told me to get out as I gave it to you. No ‘thank you’, no nothing. That should have been my first hint. And you know, years later at failed attempts of getting your attention properly and I’m still here chasing after you. Do you get it? You! I keep chasing after you. I don’t want a normal guy, every single one of them are the same self-centred prick with the same god damn excuses for everything! Sherlock, I know full well what kind of man you are and still want to be with you. What even was that little outburst of yours? Let’s be honest, you’ve not exactly said much but one creepy text from your brother and a bag of chips later and that’s it, we are never going to work! Christ Sherlock, this is only supposed to be our first date, that last thing I should be saying is that I have thought long and hard about a future that we could have together but I want you to know that I don’t want that guy you described. I don’t want a guy who will bring me flowers every Friday evening just because he thinks I might like them, I want you!

This was a lot to get off my chest and I stand there chasing my breath. I don’t even know if he actually likes me in that sense yet anyway. What was I thinking saying all of that? I have no idea what to do now. He starts to move his eyes upward until they fall on mine and we stand there for what feels like a forever, until he takes a step forward and looks down at my hand as his takes it in his.

“Molly, I think I want you too”


	5. Take Two.

 

“Molly, talk to me”

I don’t know what to say to him. This is all I’ve wanted for years. I’ve pictured this moment in my mind over and over again. I’ve thought of a million and one ways where he will do something which resembles this, but my mind won’t rest. I need space. I need to get away from this lovable idiot and take some time to think.

I let go of his hand and try to talk but nothing seems to happen. I feel frozen. There are not any words that can appropriately describe how I feel, or what I think I need. I can feel his gaze weighing me down as the tables begin to turn. I try once more but all I can give him is a short answer.

“I’m going to take some time to think. I think we should both be alone right now. I’ll see you very soon Sherlock.”

Sherlock looks stunned with a face of disappointment. I turn and leave before he has the chance to speak.

Sherlock Holmes, the very man I have been chasing blindly all these years, lay his cards on the table and I walked away. I have no idea if that was the right decision but I think it’s for the best. What if he just said that because he is feeling lonely. I mean, he must feel very alone. He has no John and no Mary, he very rarely has the chance to meet Greg and his brother is hiding him away in his flat. Of course he is feeling alone.

Mrs Hudson must be the only person he every really talks to, and I’ve seen their conversations. They tend to be awfully short lived. Sherlock will do quite frankly everything and anything for her, but well, he doesn’t exactly have a tendency to wear his heart on his sleeve. Bless him, it must drive him crazy with only his thoughts for company.

The journey home was a bit of a blur. All these faces floating by on their day to day lives. I wonder if any of them have done something potentially life changing today. Perhaps not. Am I making a huge mistake? Should I have gone back to his flat and talked through this like adults? There are too many what ifs.

Reaching my front door was somewhat of a relief. London in summer is lovely, everyone is so happy. Well, at a glance they all appear happy. There are children skipping around, there are tourists who are setting their eyes on this city for the first time and there are all these couples have a really nice time. There are couples from the very north of Scotland taking a romantic weekend away, there are the couples from America who’ve come for the history, there are the couples from London who stand at the south entrance to Regents Park who stand in everyone’s way because they both may just have realized that they could be a couple together. That was us.

Tea makes life better, this should be scientific fact. Tea calms the nerves without a dangerous intake of caffeine, and that is what I need. Tea. I have my mug of tea and fluffy slippers and go looking for a good film. I also need distractions. Many, many distractions. Maybe now is the right time to learn to crochet. My nan bought me a crochet starter kit for Christmas after I said I would quite like to be able to do it but I spent one night fighting with a ball of yarn and it’s safe to say it never worked out very well for me. I could always try again.

I could always try again.

I could, couldn’t I? I could do it all over again.

This is the plan. No, no, no, there will be no plan. I went around this all wrong. I was far too nervous and jittery, I’m not leaving that flat until be have some sort of grown up chat first. Noplans or schemes, just us. The cat is fed well, I get changed into something a bit nicer and grab my lipstick. This will work.

I almost bounce up Baker street, oozing self-confidence for a change. I put on my new navy blue halter neck dress with small white polka dots and stuck on a mustard coloured cardi and red lipstick and now feel like I twirled out of the 60’s but I love it. I kept my hair down too, feels a lot more like summer now.

Well, here it goes. Declaration of Molly Hopper’s love for Sherlock Holmes: take two. I knock on the front door and to no surprise Mrs Hudson answers.

“Oh hello Molly dear! Didn’t expect to see you again so soon! If you are here for Sherlock, he and his brother are having a bit of a tiff, all sorts or bangs and shouting are going on. You can come in with me for a little bit until they quiet down a little if you want.”

Sounds like a good idea, I don’t think I want to be putting myself in the middle of a Holmes brother fight.

“Thank you Mrs H, that would be lovely.”

I follow her inside and pass a lovely bouquet of flowers on the table at the bottom of the stairs I seemed to miss earlier.

“Sit yourself down dear I’ll just stick on the kettle. You know, I don’t know what you did to that poor thing today but he gave me the shock of my life. He came in about an hour ago, knocked on my door and gave me those beautiful flowers out there. He seemed awfully endearing, and thanked me. Don’t know what for. Just said ‘Thank you, I thought you might like these’ and went upstairs. He’s a funny one, I never know what he will do. It’s like a daily mystery. One or two sugars?”

“Actually, I think I’ll go see him now if that’s okay”

I shot up and left. It felt so rude, but I can’t believe he did that. I said to him earlier that it would make her day if he just brought her flowers one day, I never thought for a second that he may actually go out of his way and buy flowers. Maybe he does have a heart after all.

I don’t really knock on his front door, and instead opt for casually strolling in. I seem to have interrupted the brothers attempting to win a very strange staring contest. Sibling telepathy? I know they are both incredibly smart but that may take it too far. I suddenly feel the glare of them both as I take a stand in the center of the room. Until Mycroft turns back to his younger brother.

“Oh look, seems you were wrong Sherlock.” He knelt down, lifted his umbrella and left.

“Good bye Miss Hooper, it was lovely seeing you.” Mycroft seemed to make a point of brushing past me as he disappeared from the room.

Sherlock stood all too suddenly causing me to take a step back as he walked over to me, perhaps coming to stand a little too close.

“Molly, what are you doing here, You left.”

“Yes I did, but I also said I’d see you very soon.

And here I am.”


End file.
